Thursday, July 19, 2007

You're pretty good with words but words won't save your life

Date

Address

Dear [IWI]:

Thank you very much for spending the time to participate in our interview process. We appreciate having the opportunity to meet with you and discus your interest in employment with [Company Name].

Although you possess many of the qualifications we are looking for, we have identified other candidates who we feel are a better match for the position. [Company Name] will retain your resume on file in case our recruiting requirements change.

Please feel free to call our office if you have any questions regarding our decision making process.

Sincerely,
Receptionist


Date

Address

Dear [IWI]:

Thank you very much for spending almost two hours in our office inputting all of the information from your resume into our system and taking 6 different computer tests: one personality test; one cognitive ability test that we cautioned you would kick you out after six minutes but you finished in about 4; one Excel test, low-ability; one Word test, low-ability; one Windows test, remedial level; one Outlook test to see if you know how to send email. We appreciate you sitting in the conference room with the phone ringing and our very nice but ill-dressed and barely skilled receptionist fumbling through explaining her job (the job that you would be doing when we promote her) to you. We are sorry that we did not note, at any time, that the job includes reception duties.

Although you possess many of the qualifications we are looking for, we realize now that we should have better read your resume and that in doing so, we would have then known exactly how completely and utterly overqualified you are for this position. We are sorry for not posting any information in our newspaper advertisement, as having done so would have saved both of us time and energy. We have identified other candidates who we feel are a better match for the position, as they seem to have no problem answering phones and making coffee. Also, they do not feel the need to edit the reports produced by the “professionals.” [Company Name] will retain your resume for further consideration, should we have a position that would better suit your skills.

Sincerely,
I’m still a receptionist until I find a suitable replacement.

1 comment:

alienspice said...

ha!
well at least they responded quickly......

are you still up for moving party tomorrow? I have some very specific important tasks for you if you are. :)
xoxo

ps my phone is working again---I just haven't had the time or patience to write the story down.
I'll be at the new house cooking tonight if you want to give me a call!